How Men Thrive

I love inspiring men to be the best husbands, fathers and leaders they can be. Not that I have it all figured out. I simply share my failures (that I hope led to some success.)

Although men are often reluctant to go to a seminar or come to counseling, my experience has been that once they start talking to me about their home or marriage they respond quickly! In this article I am going to share some of the secrets I have learned about the masculine soul.

1.   The Masculine Soul Was Designed For Leadership And Creativity

In the Garden, God engaged Adam in the creative process by assigning him the task of naming everything that was created. In doing so, Adam partnered with God creatively.

Because of sin and the Fall, many men have surrendered their God-designed purpose and have leveraged their leadership and creativity to others. Adam’s refusal to protect Eve from the cunning of the snake was pure laziness.  He was given the authority to put that serpent where he belonged – under Adam’s foot!

I’m urging men to stay connected. Don’t barter your creativity or leverage your leadership for a bowl of self-serving stew like Esau did. True leadership is “other-centered.” It values and protects the well being and success of others. If your wife is feeling insecure, be creative enough to discover its origin and then lead toward corrective measures.

2.   The Masculine Soul Thrives on Honor

When a man is creatively functioning in his design as leader, those around him will feel secure. That sense of security should produce an environment of honor. In a perfect world this might happen naturally. In a fallen world it takes patience, love and forgiveness. The lazy, self-centered man will demand honor and respect. The true man will earn it and fight to preserve honor for himself and others.

Do you feel dishonored or disrespected by your spouse, children or others in your life? Your first order of business is to humbly assess what you do or say that might give opportunity for those individuals to treat you disrespectfully.  A humble man acknowledges the possibility that a dishonoring spouse or disrespectful child could very well be the undesired fruit of the tree he himself planted!

Since my readers are both men and women, I am aware that it would be easy for a woman to refuse honoring her man until he deserves it! Truthfully, ladies, I have seen relationships improve immediately when the wife humbly begins to find ways she can honor her husband. I always call men to be the initiators of change (it fulfills his first purpose of leading), however I see no reason that a wise woman wouldn’t want to fulfill her scriptural responsibility to “respect your husband” (Eph. 5:33)

3.   The Masculine Soul Succeeds With Purpose And Meaning

At the point of writing Ecclesiastes, Solomon had become disenchanted with life’s purpose and meaning. Even while Solomon was engaged in the process of discovering the merits of living and loving, he found purpose and meaning to stay focused. When Solomon lost his self-proclaimed purpose (to “fear God and obey His commandments, for this is the entire duty of man”), he found himself like so many men today – a sexual addict worshiping false gods!

It’s not a pretty picture but you might want to read 1 Kings 11. Sexual impurity and addiction is, in my opinion, epidemic among men of faith. Within a population of men that should have the highest purpose for living and loving, I am instead finding disconnected men foolishly trying to fill their empty hearts with adulterous, idolatrous replacements!

Scripture teaches that people without vision (purpose and meaning) “cast off restraint!” When a man engages in pornography, or a gamut of other addictions, he does so because he has lost his bearings.  His heart’s compass has lost True North. He is so self-absorbed that he no longer cares about the pain he will cause others (particularly his wife and children) if his dirty little secrets were revealed.

In 1 Chronicles 4:9 Jabez closed his prayer for God’s success in his life with the words “keep me from evil that I may not cause pain.” Jabez understood that an ever-expanding influence is the essence of true success. He was also cognizant that his influence would be lost if he selfishly did anything that would produce pain in others. Other-centeredness serves as a more powerful deterrent than most other forms of accountability.

Men, do you feel like your Masculine Soul is thriving?  Which of these three principles needs to be focused on the most? Wives, how do you need to improve in honoring your husband? You can leave a comment below.

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